Leave To Cleave

Leave To Cleave

(Breaking The Intimate Link Between Mother And Son After Married)

It’s true that there is no love like a Mother's love. Maternal love is perhaps the most powerful, positive influence on a son's development and life. There is a famous saying that says, “we hold our children in our arms for a little while, and in our hearts forever.” Every parent knows it’s true, but for mothers it’s literally true. Science has told us all sorts of fascinating things about the uniquely intimate link between mother and child at the biological level . A mother is the prime caretaker of her children's life. It includes his health education, social and mental development. A child looks at his mother as a mentor guiding through every aspect of his life.

Mothers are amazing, there is no doubt about that; I know you love your mom, she made you, but you are not married to her. It will interest you that the day you slipped that ring (married) on your bride’s finger, your sweet, devoted mother became number two in your life. As a married man, it is not wise to still hang so tight to your mother’s apron strings. You have to grow up and be committed to building a new family with your bride (wife). You have to leave to cleave! To leave means to go away from a place, while to cleave simple means to adhere firmly, closely or loyally and unwaveringly.

Cleaving to your wife is very important. In Genesis, right after the creation of Adam and Eve, we get this clear instruction that a man leaves his father and mother and is united (cleave) to his wife, and they become one flesh - Genesis 2:24. In the New Testament, Paul’s letter to the Ephesians reminds husbands once again. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” - Ephesians 5:31.

Husband, your wife needs to know that you value her. She needs to know you have left your boyhood home and you are building a new one with your name and hers on the mailbox. In very specific terms, to leave and cleave is more than a clever rhyme, it’s a biblically sound mandate for marriage. It’s quite possible your revered mother knows more than your beloved wife about raising kids, cooking, housecleaning, budgeting etc. She may be a whiz at all those things and more, but value her lesser than your mother is not key.

To mothers; if you feel that you are replaced, don’t break loose. As a mother one key assignments is to prepare your children for marriage. Making a married son feel guilty about putting his wife first is a recipe for family disaster. 

As husband; the expectation is leave and cleave. Don’t allow in-law problems to get between you and your wife. Make sure the two of you are on the same page. Don’t make enemies of the older generation. Honor them, but put your own family first. The family you are going into is important as the family you came from.

I value you